A Good Place, Going Through the Bad to get to the Good!
I just wanted to write and tell you all what a good place we are in right now. At least in my marriage. Financially, we are hurting badly. But, we will get through it. How do I know that? I know that, because my husband and I are in a good place. We have been married for just over 13 years now. We will celebrate 14 next July, Lord Willing.
It has been a very hard year, probably the hardest in all of our marriage. We went from what I thought was an okay marriage, to my husband wanting a divorce, and him moving out, to him coming back home. During that, I got lost, still am in many ways, but during that time, I now longer knew who my husband was, I didn’t even know who I was. What I thought we were, we weren’t. What I thought was right, wasn’t.
Jamie and I were just not in a good place. When he came home one night in early Spring, and told me he wanted a divorce, I was stunned. I never saw that coming. What was worse, is I never saw coming that he had feelings for another woman and wanted to be with her. If you know my husband, this is the furthest thing that he would ever do. Yet, it happened. The sad part is, I couldn’t blame him. I just couldn’t.
It wasn’t entirely his fault. I had to take a good strong look at me, and that mirror was not kind. I had many questions. Why, was the number one. Why would he do this, why did he not want to be married to me, why? I can tell you about me. I can tell you to that “I” was not being the wife I needed to be. I was not keeping a clean home, I was not really cooking, and ladies, I was not doing much in the bedroom. I “always” had a headache, or was too “tired”. It was too late or I have to get up too early the next day. I always had some sort of excuse. We may have had sex once every other month, if that.
Ladies, DON’T DO THAT TO YOUR HUSBANDS.
They have needs, they need to feel loved, they need to feel connected to you. It is a need for them, and ladies, it is a need for us. We need to have that connection with our husbands. We need to feel that love. If not ladies, things can happen that we do not want to happen.
Now I know life happens, and we will have a headache and we will have to get up too early. Those are fine. It happens. When it is real, it is okay. Your husband will understand. But if you are always sick with a headache, or always tired. Your man is not going to feel love, he is not going to feel the passion. Ladies, it hurts them when we reject them. If we reject our husbands enough, they may, not all, but they may find someone who won’t reject. It happens.
….. and it hurts.
It hurts a lot.
Sisters, you will hurt too.
So give some loving to your husbands. You both deserve it.
It is so freeing to be in a good place.
It has taken us many years to figure out what we should have a long time ago.
We are learning to listen with our ears, ( remember that in kindergarten)
We are learning to let go of the bad things we dislike about each other. Not easy to do, but when there is so much good, why let the bad outweigh that?
We are making sure that we end each night with a cuddle, talking softly, and just holding each other. It makes all the difference in our marriage.
We are asking each other, instead of telling each other what we are doing. Like, hey, do you mind if I go out with the girls, or Hey, do you mind if I stop for a beer.
God has something for my husband and I. I don’t know what, but I know He does. I am excited for it.
We are in a good place.
Some of my favorite books that have helped me to get where I am right now are,
Check out my review here.
Check out my review here
Check out the review here.
So, thank you for reading, I love sharing about our life, and about the love Jamie and I share between each other and our children.
Are you in a good place? If not, check out the above books. They saved our marriage. Sometimes you need to learn something different.
I want you to be in a good place too.